I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Farmville is her only friend.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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