She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
