i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
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wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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