I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
