You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
