There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
