The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize