Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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