is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
