And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
