Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
