I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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