Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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