I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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