Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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