The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
