She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
