I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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