Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
