His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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