Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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