dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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