4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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