Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is wine microwaveable?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
