TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
