next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think people are normalizing furries
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