ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
