My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He? As in you personified your dick?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
