i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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