I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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