True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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