JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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