I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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