I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
