Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize