Duck Duck Cougar?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
