Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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