"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
