He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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