wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
