I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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