Whod you bang
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
