they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
