no. you can't hotbox the world.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
