he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
high people should be assigned attendants
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
