there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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