Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
