do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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