I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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