i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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