So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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