elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
