woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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