I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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