it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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