You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
