omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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