Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
