The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
