I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
