I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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