You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
