Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
