I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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