So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
