so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
