Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
