its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
